March 22, 2002

I just checked my Web stats and discovered I've had over 3.5 million hits in the last two days. And unique visitors? 4.8 million over the same two day period. An extraordinary feat!

Extraordinary, of course, because it's hard to figure how anyone can accumulate more unique visitors than total hits. I'm told, however, it is possible assuming you've an innate psychic ability to bend time and spoons. In other words, you need to be a dimensional juxtaposer. Or DJ, as the kids say.

OK, some guy just passed by and twisted my arm up my back as he threatened to beat bees and Jesus out of me. So - I lied! I didn't get half as many hits as I said. In fact, I got no hits at all! Worse, a dimensional juxtaposer was used to warp the blousey fabric of space and time and hits were actually taken AWAY from me. Suddenly, people who had visited my pages only last week could no longer recall having been there - because they hadn't! Those visits had been stolen from them together with a little of the something that makes us human.

Makes you want to cry.

(What the hell did I start out writing about anyway?)

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