June 30, 2002

Leading thespian Adam Sandlar, having established himself as Hollywood’s leading male actor following his moving update Mr.Deeds (revisiting the 1936 Frank Capra classic Mr. Deeds Goes to Town) has his sights set on even greater dramatic challenges. Or so unsubstantiated rumours would have us believe.

Sandlar’s next project is tentatively titled “Hammy,” a modern look at the Shakespearean standard, Hamlet. Our drunken sources tell us Sandlar will play a confused lifeguard, son of a leading head-of-state and heir to billions, whose father dies under mysterious circumstances. The Sandlar character will become despondent which leads to zany antics and shenanigans. His mother (reportedly to be played by Sir Anthony Hopkins) remarries and Sandlar shows his displeasure by trying to have sex with her. The film will conclude with Sandlar engaged in a fart challenge to the death with Kevin Smith (playing himself).

Other upcoming Sandlar projects include:

“Gone With My Wind” in which Sandlar plays “a classy southern gentleman” with flatulence issues. The film concludes with Sandlar setting the city of Atlanta on fire with an enormous fart.

Also in the works is “Close Encounters with My Behind” in which Sandlar plays an alien character with an overlarge bottom. The film concludes with Sandlar setting North America on fire with an enormous fart.

Finally, “Titanic – My Big Bum” is in the works for late 2004. In this film, Sandlar plays a character with a fat butt who takes a cross-Atlantic cruise on a really big boat. The film concludes with Sandlar sinking the ship after setting it on fire with an enormous fart.

Clearly, there are more than a few Oscars in Adam’s future.

June 28, 2002

Oh my. I just did a search on Google. Apparently the Piddleville site is comes up with some frequency and, more alarming, this Burble page. Problem? Visitors ... and the place is a mess! Hopefully by the end of this long weekend we'll have it somewhat less dishevelled. Yes, I did say long weekend. In Canada, this will be a long weekend. We'll be celebrating something but we'll be buggered if we know what. Maybe it's a celebration that the G8 waste of time and money show is over.
Still hot. Very hot.

"How hot is it?"

It's so hot, I can't think of a single punchline to do it justice. Now THAT's damn hot.

Meanwhile, in a world of wonders, Pamie returns. Can such things be? Apparently so. And now ...

Time for the nightly snooze. As with last night, it will be a heated challenge ...

June 27, 2002

Wow. Where'd I go?

Well, I dunno but for this brief moment I'm back. Hot today. VERY hot. At least for this part of the world. 34.1 Celcius. Whatever that is in old time temperatures. How hot? Listen ... in the winter, the windows here stay closed to keep from freezing my ass off and to keep the furnace from running non-stop. Today, I had to keep the windows closed to keep the heat out.

You cannot win! Not in this life!

Anyway ... now I'm off to see if sleep is possible. No air conditioning here, baby.

June 16, 2002

Major lacuna. Over a week without an entry. How did we survive? Now we're back and what do we discover? Big jpeg files! Sorry ... No way around that. Well, yes there is but I couldn't be bothered. But don't you think the story of Lechie is worth it?

June 4, 2002

It seems that whenever I have big ideas for changes to Piddleville, new sections and what not, they don't get much further than some file space on my computer before some other nonsense takes over my life and robs me of time, the thing the Web seems to feed on. So although I made the initial stabs at two new items, Another Day Without Brains and A Salute to Personal Living, both languish somewhere on my hard drive in a half-baked state.

I've also seen a number of movies recently that I haven't been able to scribble about yet and add to the Movie Room.

Hopefully, soon. Hopefully, soon.